T’was the Month after Christmas…

Published January 9, 2013 by Catherine

T’was the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

piggie 1

The cookies I’d nibbled ,
the chocolate I’d taste”
At the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

piggie 2

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
 The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt…
I said to myself as only I can,
You can’t spend a winter, disguised as a man!”


So,  away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
 I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.


I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore…
 But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

Copyright (c) 2013. Bruce A. Burton

Copyright (c) 2013. Bruce A. Burton

AUTHOR UNKNOWN, but many thanks to my friend Mandy, whose friend passed it onto her, whose friend passed it on to her…


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